Sunday, March 6, 2011

Git Er Done

I wanted to put the groceries away today. I wanted to know where each item was so that when I needed to grab an item to make dinner I knew exactly where it would be. Rob asked me to make sure that I cleaned out the fridge. He wanted me to take out anything expired or clearly not going to get eaten. He reminded me to green bin the food and rinse off the containers before washing or recycling.

All I heard was 'clean the fridge'.

I mentioned the OCD before, (I actually prefer CDO, it's alphabetical, the way it should be) so when I hear clean out the fridge it means something totally different in my head.

No, Rob has not learned how to take advantage of this particular quirk yet.

A hour later the food is still out of the fridge and I am cleaning each bar of each shelving rack. I have scrubbed the top, sides, bottom, and spent a considerable amount of time trying to figure out how to remove the crisper drawer assembly so that I can clean that too.

He can't figure out why I am not done yet. This should have been a 15 minute job at most. It's that line I can't walk between "git er done" and "git er done right". There is no in-between for me. I can put the food away or I can clean the fridge.

Sadly for my family I generally suck at housekeeping. Rob doesn't understand how I can step over the same shirt on the floor for a week and look surprised when he explodes and shows it to me lying there. I really didn't see it. I really don't see the messes that the kids leave all around the house. I really don't see the wrinkles in the fabric.

But when I do I can't stop. I can't just tidy the toys, I need to organize them by function, colour, shape, season, who bought them. I can't just sweep the floors because I end up in the corner picking individual pieces of dirt that I can't seem to vacuum up. I can't just clean the bathroom because I end up standing in then tub with my toothbrush cleaning grout lines.

I guess my coping strategy is to just not see it. That does not make me very easy to live with (or easy to work with if you have seen my classroom!).

There must be a balance. I just can't see it.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

You Might Not Want to Read This

This year both girls are at the same daycare. I can't express to you how this has helped our lives. Last year it took me 2 hours to pick up the girls and get them home. This year I can do it in 20 minutes. Well I could if they wanted to leave the daycare when I did!
We have also watched J start to read and lose 2 teeth. We have watched C work hard at her speech therapy and thrive in her daycare class. We have also watched her hallucinate with a high fever, have pneumonia, ear infections, colds and coughs. 
None of that compares to the story I was told yesterday.
A little boy complained of a tummy ache and stayed home from school. Mom called the doctor and was told to watch him, but not to worry. That night he sat on the couch between his mom and dad. When his little head slumped over in sleep they got him ready to move to bed. 
Only he wasn't sleeping. 
How does that happen? He was sitting between his parents. They were right there. 
It turned out that he had a bowel obstruction that had burst that morning. He should have been screaming in pain. He should have been crying all day and holding his belly. He should not have been able to sit calmly on the couch with his parents watching television.
I can't shake this story. I am sorry I wrote it because it might mean that you can't shake it either. On the other hand I can't sleep. I can't stop worrying about my kids. When J told me this morning that her tummy was grumbling and a little sore it was all I could do to not grab the phone and call 911 while my sane brain assured me she was just looking for breakfast.
I struggle with OCD and one of my preferred Os is about my kids well being, health and development. This is going to be a challenge to all of my coping strategies. Any suggestions?

P.S. I really miss writing and wish I would have posted all the entries I have written in my head but never got a chance to type. I am not really ok with C watching television so that I can try to expel this thought demon but it bought me 20 minutes!!

Thursday, November 26, 2009

And So It Begins

I knew that when Jill started school she wouldn't just be bringing home stories of her daily adventures. There would be new germs, new friends, and new words.

I just wasn't as prepared as I thought I was for the new words.

Since starting daycare and school she has taken to kicking me out of the family. She is no longer my friend, and yesterday I was told that I could live in the bushes all by myself because I was making such naughty choices.

Then she said she was going to kill me.

Apparently that is my line. I only knew it once she had crossed it.

After I regained some control over myself I talked to her about that.

Yup, she understands what dead means. Kind of.

She tells me that the bad pirates at school say those words.

The bad pirates, it turns out are some of the boys in her class who spend a part of their outdoor time trying to get the kitties and the babies. Sometimes they are good pirates who are protecting the kittens and babies, but most of the time they are bad pirates.

I learn from my daughter that when you are being bad, those are the things you say, just like the pirates.

Why oh why is she so literal?

One phone conversation with the teacher later I hope to hear less about the bad pirates and more about the good pirates.

And never to hear those words come out of my babies mouth again.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Mommy's Numbers

Before I had kids I liked to do ... stuff. Go to movies, read books, play video games. Stuff.

I still like video games. I have a Nintendo DS.

Well this is actually my second. The first one I had was proudly delivered dripping wet to me about a year ago by a beaming little girl who announced "Mommy, I washed your numbers!".

I got new numbers the next Christmas.

These stay away from all water sources.

Jillian named them numbers because the games she always watched me play had numbers flashing across the screen.

I also have a game called letters, one called Luke, another called cards. You get the idea.

Jillian has her own games to play on my numbers. Pony numbers and Wally numbers.

Neither game has any numbers in it.

Caitie associates sleep with my DS. This could be because when I put her to sleep I place her in her crib and then I sit on the floor while she goes to sleep. It started as part of the "No Cry Sleep Solution" where you slowly move yourself out the door over a few nights.

I needed something to do while I waited for Cait to sleep and for me to slowly inch my way out of her room.

I started to bring my numbers to play while I sat. Now Cait associates the glow off the screen as a soothing sleep aid.

I need to play my games or Cait can't go to sleep. See? It isn't my choice!

I probably don't need to sit in her room anymore while she goes to sleep.

But I do need to play my numbers so I will stay with her for a little while longer.

Friday, October 23, 2009

The Trouble with Life

The trouble with life is that it just keeps happening.

It never slows down when you want to savour the moment or speed up when you need a moment to be over.

All of a sudden I look and I haven't written anything in a month. How did that happen?

Well there was work. And Cait was sick with croupe. And there was work. And Jill's ballet started. And I got a cold. And there was work. And Rob had that business trip thing. And there are only a few hours each night to be together before collapsing in bed.

That is all fine, but this was supposed to be my thing. My thing that made sure I took time out to just reflect and be still.

I do solemnly swear to try to make time for me.

Let's see how that goes!!

Thursday, September 24, 2009

My New Plan

Among the reasons I love Facebook are the ideas that get shared.

A friend from University updated her status by saying that she was making tomorrow night's dinner far to late in the evening.

Tomorrow night's dinner.

Revolutionary idea!!

I tried it. It was great!

I made a stew and when I got home (okay when my SIL got here because I was so late) the pot of stew was put on the oven to heat and ... boom! dinner is served.

I am going to try this more often. Make a sauce in the evening, cook the pasta when I get home.

Cook the chicken in the evening, steam the veg when I get home.

It puts a smile on my face just thinking about it.


Saturday, September 19, 2009

Apple Picking

We took the kids to an apple orchard today.

The same apple orchard that my parents took me to when I was their age.

We went with my brother and his family. Our kids are all the same age and I just love spending time with them, as it is rare and precious.

Jill has been excited about this trip all week (about the maximum amount of lead time I will give her for an event of this nature!). She was buzzing the whole time. There wasn't a single part that she didn't think was the greatest thing ever.

Watching her was the greatest thing ever.

She picked apples off the trees, let her uncle help her climb a ladder to pick one off the top, left the ones with holes in them for the caterpillars, and never stopped grinning.

She made a mental list of all the things we have to make with the apples that we picked. Pie, sauce, cake, crumble....

She picked an apple off the tree and ate it. Best apple ever.

Cait loved walking in the long grass. She let her daddy hold her up to the tree so she could pick an apple. I have no idea how many she ate. I do remember the sound of her laughter as she and Rob threw apples in a game of catch with the orchard dog.

Best game ever.

Jill played in the hay pile with on of her cousins while Cait discovered why you shouldn't eat cow corn with the other.

They both loved the corn maze and I loved the seriousness of the older kids as they protected us from bug-a-boos with their corn swords.

This will be a family tradtion, like it was when I was growing up.

I have no idea what I am going to do with 10 pounds of apples.

I don't care though. I was ready to pick 30 just to keep watching the kids today.

Any one want pie?