Sunday, March 6, 2011

Git Er Done

I wanted to put the groceries away today. I wanted to know where each item was so that when I needed to grab an item to make dinner I knew exactly where it would be. Rob asked me to make sure that I cleaned out the fridge. He wanted me to take out anything expired or clearly not going to get eaten. He reminded me to green bin the food and rinse off the containers before washing or recycling.

All I heard was 'clean the fridge'.

I mentioned the OCD before, (I actually prefer CDO, it's alphabetical, the way it should be) so when I hear clean out the fridge it means something totally different in my head.

No, Rob has not learned how to take advantage of this particular quirk yet.

A hour later the food is still out of the fridge and I am cleaning each bar of each shelving rack. I have scrubbed the top, sides, bottom, and spent a considerable amount of time trying to figure out how to remove the crisper drawer assembly so that I can clean that too.

He can't figure out why I am not done yet. This should have been a 15 minute job at most. It's that line I can't walk between "git er done" and "git er done right". There is no in-between for me. I can put the food away or I can clean the fridge.

Sadly for my family I generally suck at housekeeping. Rob doesn't understand how I can step over the same shirt on the floor for a week and look surprised when he explodes and shows it to me lying there. I really didn't see it. I really don't see the messes that the kids leave all around the house. I really don't see the wrinkles in the fabric.

But when I do I can't stop. I can't just tidy the toys, I need to organize them by function, colour, shape, season, who bought them. I can't just sweep the floors because I end up in the corner picking individual pieces of dirt that I can't seem to vacuum up. I can't just clean the bathroom because I end up standing in then tub with my toothbrush cleaning grout lines.

I guess my coping strategy is to just not see it. That does not make me very easy to live with (or easy to work with if you have seen my classroom!).

There must be a balance. I just can't see it.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

You Might Not Want to Read This

This year both girls are at the same daycare. I can't express to you how this has helped our lives. Last year it took me 2 hours to pick up the girls and get them home. This year I can do it in 20 minutes. Well I could if they wanted to leave the daycare when I did!
We have also watched J start to read and lose 2 teeth. We have watched C work hard at her speech therapy and thrive in her daycare class. We have also watched her hallucinate with a high fever, have pneumonia, ear infections, colds and coughs. 
None of that compares to the story I was told yesterday.
A little boy complained of a tummy ache and stayed home from school. Mom called the doctor and was told to watch him, but not to worry. That night he sat on the couch between his mom and dad. When his little head slumped over in sleep they got him ready to move to bed. 
Only he wasn't sleeping. 
How does that happen? He was sitting between his parents. They were right there. 
It turned out that he had a bowel obstruction that had burst that morning. He should have been screaming in pain. He should have been crying all day and holding his belly. He should not have been able to sit calmly on the couch with his parents watching television.
I can't shake this story. I am sorry I wrote it because it might mean that you can't shake it either. On the other hand I can't sleep. I can't stop worrying about my kids. When J told me this morning that her tummy was grumbling and a little sore it was all I could do to not grab the phone and call 911 while my sane brain assured me she was just looking for breakfast.
I struggle with OCD and one of my preferred Os is about my kids well being, health and development. This is going to be a challenge to all of my coping strategies. Any suggestions?

P.S. I really miss writing and wish I would have posted all the entries I have written in my head but never got a chance to type. I am not really ok with C watching television so that I can try to expel this thought demon but it bought me 20 minutes!!